TMI Thursday: Why I’m Stickin’ With Charmin

TMI Thursday

Good toilet paper is expensive.

And now I know why.

The cheap shit stays with you.

By “stays with you” I mean it stays.with.you.

Case in point.

Redbone and I planned a little rendezvous at his house late one night. I showered up, got dressed, and made sure to pee because I had a nice little drive ahead of me and there is very little worse than driving and having to pee. You know, you catch every red light, and you still continue to drink whatever you have handy because you’re thirsty, regardless of the fact that your bladder is about to bust.

So, I make it there and he and I proceed to get nasty. I lay back on the bed, legs spread, and he gets in between them while I prep myself for what I have been waiting for forEVER.

Him: “Are you on your period?”

Me, aghast: “No.”

Him: “Why you have a tampon in there?”

Me: “I don’t.”

He hands me a mirror and turns the bedside lamp on and tells me to take a look. I do.

I have fucking toilet paper shreds down there. One of them is certainly long enough to be mistaken for a tampon string.

Now you would think that after all Redbone and I have been through that there would be very little left to truly embarrass me. But this certainly did.

Me: “Well, at least you know I wipe.”

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18 thoughts on “TMI Thursday: Why I’m Stickin’ With Charmin

  1. Alyxherself cannot post a username with a url which she does not have! I am not anon. I just don’t have a blog. Anyway…

    I always use a washcloth after 9 pm if I think there is any chance of my girlfriend happy-making. Its just polite :)and I feel Sure.

    No lurking.

  2. ChinkyGirlMel: It was quite embarrassing…but hey, he still fucked me…

    ThePeachTart: tee-hee…

    Angela: thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  3. Lady Jane: Aw, thank you! I enjoyed your blog as well! I also use the moistened wipes (baby wipes are cheaper and don’t irritate me), but that night…IDK, I guess I just had dick on the brain.

    Dmbosstone: eating while you read TMI Thursday posts? You are bold. And oatmeal? Kudos to you.

    CaliAnn: LOL…Charmin Ultra Strong, that is…you don’t use as much and it doesn’t get all crumbly and stuck in your nether regions.

  4. thinkinfyou: I did for a split second, but I think the alcohol kicked in and I just said “fuck it”…

    LiLu: we totally did! i mean, it was just T.P. I just hopped in the shower and washed it all off…good as new!

    PQ: thanks!

    RCaitlin: toilet paper can definitely make or break a booty call! if he’d have been anyone else, i probably wouldn’t have gotten any that night!

    Taylor: Please do share! And I give alcohol all the credit for my comeback. If I had been sober, I’d have been stuttering, for sure!

  5. Hey Lady! So glad you stopped by my blog because it led me to yours. Your effin’ hilarious! Now I am ALWAYS going to check for TP…However, most the time I use those moistened vaginal wipes…awesome…but y never know!!!

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